Rewind: Finding Faith

I wrote this piece back in October 2012, my son had been home from the hospital for a few months and we had several admissions since being home. A month prior to this, an attending told us our son was going to ‘crash’ and because of his brain damage his life wasn’t worth saving. A month later I wrote this post. After having a baby at 27 weeks and watching him fight for every breath, every day, it will make you question life. But through this whole journey I have found faith. Faith I never knew I had. I have been in church almost all my life, and never had I felt what I feel now after living with Superman for over a year. Watching him is truly like watching a flower bloom. But not in elapsed time. It’s like watching every single second of the unfolding – in slow motion. Getting every painstaking detail. But slow as it may seem, you always know the end result will be just beautiful – and although the blooming happens so slow you might not even realize something is happening, but when you look back and you see how far you have come – THAT is when the amazement will set in. And it will be glorious!

I have been thinking alot about faith lately. Its not something I feel I really know alot about.

Faith is so often a word that tossed around by so many about everything.

Sit down just pray and have faith. I don’t think that’s really how it works.

I never thought I would be sitting here, on a cold rainy night, writing about faith, religion, or anything of the sort.

It’s not really me. But its amazing what can happen when things get so bad in your life you don’t see a way out.

I think so often we take for granted the situations in our life, good or bad.

I have been listening to this song called “What Faith Can Do” by a band named Kutlass.

Even in the bad, it gives us an opportunity to rise above the situation, do what we can, then at that point we have faith that it will all work out.

Too often, the sit back and pray crowd convinces us that if its “God’s will it will just happen. It’s his plan”.

But I think God gives us the tools to sit down and pray, listen then go and do. And once you have done everything you can to the best of your ability, then faith takes over and you watch the seeds of your effort blossom. It might not be exactly as you pictured, or what you wanted. But faith comes into play again, believing that even though it wasn’t what you prayed for, maybe its what you need in this moment.

So while you are on the journey, have faith that you will find your joy. It might not be the joy you were seeking in the way you thought it would come, but over time, you will realize that maybe your vision has changed and its the joy you really needed all along.

That’s what faith can do.

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2 thoughts on “Rewind: Finding Faith

  1. My Torticollis Baby says:

    Beautiful blog! I am so inspired and amazed by your God-given strength to rise above everything to get the help your son needs. He is truly blessed to have such an amazing mother as you. I will pray for you and your family that you continue to feel His strength and presence throughout your journey.

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